Who gets the personal property if I move out to leave an abusive relationship?

"Personal property" is something you own that you can move. It is not real estate. It is not land or a house. Personal property includes things like:

• Cars,
• Clothes,
• Furniture,
• Appliances,
• Jewelry,
• Bank accounts,
• Dishes, and
• Toys.

If you own it, you can take it.

If you own it together with the person who abused you, you can take it, but if you are married you may have to deal with it in a divorce. You might have to include its value along with other property when the judge divides your property.

If your child is going with you, it is reasonable to take your child’s clothes, furniture, toys, and so forth.

It is important to have good reasons about what you take, such as “I own it,” “I use it,” or “I need it.”

Getting a 209A Restraining Order against the abusive person can help make it clearer what property you are allowed to take when you move out. See How can a 209A Restraining Order help me with personal property?

Sometimes you do not have time to get your personal belongings before you leave.

You may be able to get your things back in a court case after you leave. It will probably take some time.

If you get a 209A restraining order, you can ask for permission to take certain items with you if you are leaving. Focus on things that are very important, like passports, medications, or things you need for your children. You can also ask for the replacement costs of property lost as the result of abuse when you go to court to get the order. See How can a 209A Protective Order help me with personal property?

If you are married you can ask for your property back in a divorce or separate support and maintenance case. See If you are married below.

If the property is worth $7,000 or less, you can file a Small Claims Court case. In a small claims case you have to show that the personal property belongs to you. In small claims court, you ask for “money damages.” That means that you ask for an order that the other person pay you what the property is worth. When you ask for money damages, the judge can order the defendant to return your property to you.
 

The court decides about the property of married people in divorce and separate support cases.

Divorce 

When you get a divorce, the judge divides your property. 

Getting a divorce can take a long time. While the case is going on, the judge can order your spouse to let you use certain personal property and real estate. For example, the judge can let you stay in the house or use the car while the case is going on. If your spouse has abandoned you and your children and you cannot pay for the things you need, the judge can order your spouse to let you have certain personal property and real estate. 

When you get a divorce, the judge will divide all of the property that you and your spouse own. The judge divides the property you own together and the property you own separately. The judge decides what is fair. The judge will not just look at who bought an item or who actually owns it. Instead, the judge will look at many things. The things the judge looks at are called “factors”. The judge must look at some factors. The judge may consider other factors.

The judge must look at factors for both you and your spouse like:

• how long you have been married,
• how you acted during the marriage,
• your age,
• your health,
• how easy it is for you to get a job,,
• the kind of work you do,
• your job skills,
• your income (how much and where it comes from),
• how much money and property you have,
• your debts,
• your needs,
• your children’s needs, and
• how hard it will be for you to get money, property, and income in the future.

The judge may consider factors for both you and your spouse like:

• how much each of you paid to buy, maintain and increase the value of your property, and
• what each of you did for the family as a “homemaker”. Shopping, cooking, cleaning, and child care can be as important as bringing in money. You have the right to a share of the personal property even if you did not earn the money and did not buy the property.

The division of property when you get divorced is sometimes a division of actual things, usually expensive things, like cars, art work, furniture, and jewelry. For ordinary things, like pots and pans and household tools and appliances, the judge usually decides how much one spouse has to pay the other.

Separate Support

If your spouse abandoned you and your children and you have no way to take care of yourself, you can file a Complaint for Separate Support. If your spouse has abandoned you and you do not have enough resources to care of yourself and your children, the judge can order your spouse to let you have some personal property and real estate.

In a 209A Restraining Order case, the judge can give you or the person who abused you the right to go back to your home and pick up personal property. The judge should order this to be done with the police there. Sometimes you can ask the judge to write out a list of what items you or your spouse are allowed to take.

If you fled the house because of the abuse, the judge can check off a box on your restraining order that says you are allowed to go back to pick up your belongings with the help of the police.

If the restraining order tells the abusive person they can’t come back to the house, the judge can give them the right to go back to get some of their belongings. This is just to get necessary items like important documents, clothes, and things for your kids. 

If you get a 209A order, the judge can also order the person who abused you to compensate (pay) you for certain things that you need because of the abuse. These can be things you had to leave behind, things that were destroyed, or things like:

• the cost of installing utilities in your new place, or restoring them if you are staying in the same place,
• medical expenses because of the abuse,
• the cost of replacing locks or personal property that the abusive person took or destroyed,
• moving expenses, 
• money you could not earn because you were in a relationship where there was domestic violence
• the financial support you were getting from the person who abused you while you were in the relationship, and
• reasonable attorney’s fees.

The judge can also order the person who abused you to compensate you for other losses that are not on this list. They have to be costs that you have because of the abuse.